But sometimes, not fitting in isn’t a curse. It’s a calling.
I have spontaneous ideas from time to time. To leave everything behind and go somewhere. Sometimes I’m not sure where. I just have the feeling. The inner voice in me.
I’ve always thought that it was me escaping reality and responsibilities. However, I don’t think that’s true. It’s just my mind telling me to grow. To leave things that made me feel small and step into the new chapter.
This is not the first calling. Last summer, after everything that happened and before all my stories began to unfold, I felt the same. I felt like I needed to escape. I wasn’t escaping real life. I was escaping the version of myself I had to outgrow.
It was life-changing when I came to Italy, where I stayed for one month. I met people who opened my eyes and told me things I needed to hear.
The one thing that stuck with me to this day was a message from this one guy. He told me that I am free now and I can forget about the shitty people back home. Start a new life and be who I want to be. That I should enjoy my time, make errors and mistakes, and be the best version of myself. And that I should use the time there to find who I want to be.
That one message felt like something I was waiting to hear but couldn’t tell myself.
And maybe I’m not trying to escape. Maybe it’s just time for a new beginning again.